The Unabridged Bibliophile: August 2016

Playlist #2 (Writer Hangover)

19:38
By Unabridged Bibliophile
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Can We Talk About Wattpad?

18:21
By Unabridged Bibliophile
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So as some of you may or may not know there's this website on the internet called Wattpad. Wattpad was created in 2006 and was pitched as a website where people could write to their heart's content. Fast forward ten years and it's become one of the biggest tools for writers, allowing us to grow a fan base, make friends and discuss important topics with other writers.

I've been a member since 2013 and I may have taken a break but that doesn't mean I haven't seen my fair share of shit. I don't mean to hate on the website, it gave me a bunch of opportunities and allowed me to meet people from all over the world but let's all admit it, Wattpad has its fair share of problems. In this post I'll be ranting about all the shitty things that makes me lose hope and interest in the website completely. Let's begin, shall we?

Featured Stories

Let's begin with one of my biggest beefs...

Yup. That's a pretty big beef...

If you go into a certain genre on the website you can go to the Featured section and see which stories Wattpad is advertising. First let's talk about how you get featured. Apparently there's this form you have to fill out first and a few weeks later the people at Wattpad get back to you. Recently I've found a forum made by a featured author and she was willing to answer some questions about this process. Now, Wattpad let's you write whatever you want and says that anyone has the chance of being featured but guess what? That's a lie.

This author revealed that not only did she have to edit the whole thing but also change the cover to become more appealing. Really? And to add insult to injury they will only feature stories with 'unique' storylines and original writing...

Maybe I'm nit picking but this just annoys me so much that I can't put it into words.

The second issue I have with the Featured section are the stories. Every time I click onto that bit I only become more convinced that Wattpad is run by a bunch of people in their twenties that either never lived their teenage fantasies or had some pretty weird fetishes.

As I write this these are the featured stories in these genres:

Action-

Badass Nerd Can Fight (do I even need to say anything besides the fact that I'm sort of offended?)

I'm A Secret Agent Undercover in High School (seriously?)

The Shy Girl Has A Gun (no comment)

Romance-

Mr. CEO (I'll come back to this....)

Running Into Mr. Billionaire (I doubt that you're in the same social circles as a billionaire...)

Claimed By Him Without Love (*sigh)

The Arrogant CEO (that'll actually turn out to be mentally disturbed and emotional because of his upbringing...)

Exclusively Mine (it's called marriage dear...I guess you're not married or you're in an open relationship)

*I didn't mention Werewolf or Vampire because it's not my genre, I don't write or read it, I don't have an opinion on it.

If you're waiting for a rant on the romance (*cough* erotica *cough*) that'll come up eventually...

The 'Undiscovered' Stories

Time to play a game kids! All you have to do is choose the right answer.

Here we have two books, one that has 5.8k reads and another that 500 reads. Which one would you consider undiscovered?

If you chose the book that has 500 reads then you're correct and get a virtual cookie.

According to Wattpad undiscovered books range from books with 100 reads to 9k reads and here's the problem. These books with more than 1k reads already have some sort of fanbase or feet to stand on. They get votes and comments daily but the smaller ones have practically nothing. The undiscovered bit, in my opinion, is for writers who don't know or can't advertise their book and the bigger books are already (somewhat) popular.

Granted, Wattpad has fixed this feature in recent times but it's still broken (like those PokemonGo servers...)

This isn't something that makes me angry though, it honestly makes me more sad than furious with the hatred of a thousand suns.

Authors/Critics Who Think They're Gods

A few days ago I had the 'pleasure' of having a rude conversation with someone. To summarize, I asked her for the betas questions (that I'd sent her weeks ago) and she called me pushy. Then I explained that I was asking her because I was about to release the next chapter and didn't want her to fall behind. This person then gives me the definition of beta readers, says that there were too many questions and then accuses me of losing betas because of my attitude. You signed up for this shit! You knew what you were getting into! AND I HAVEN'T LOST ANY BETAS!!

After this she tries to act like a saint and asks me if I had ever considered hiring a critic and guess what she did on this website? You guessed it, critique other works. I reply nicely by explaining why I prefer betas and this person never responds...

I despise these types of people, just because they have a big fanbase and do this special job that takes them soooooo much effort doesn't mean they're some special snowflake that can treat people like total shit.

Then when and if you ever get a critic from these people they will nit pick. Not to say that I can't handle criticism, I totally can, but I saw this one critic who said they didn't like how they personified the wind. THE FUCKING WIND. She was nit picking because she didn't like this person's writing style...

The author of said book then defended themselves saying it was on purpose and that she/he intended on it staying that way.

Basically I have nothing left to say about these people except for this...

The ~~Romance~~ Erotica Books

You knew this was coming.

Did you know that the minimum age for Wattpad is 13? You wouldn't have guessed from the amount of erotica on this website!

Usually the writers of these books are usually written by females who create Mary-Sues (so they can put themselves in the story) to live out their ultimate fantasy, falling in love with the CEO of a big company. First, who has this fantasy? This is the weakest fantasy ever! I would share my fantasy with you just to show you what a real fantasy is but that would be inappropriate. All I'll say is that involves all the men on my future potential husbands list and some eggplants...

These stories (if you can even call it that) are written by teenagers who think they're edgy and know everything about BDSM, sex and relationships; college girls who desperately need a boyfriend or a middle aged women who needs some love. It's always the same too! It's about a plain girl falling in live with a billionaire (who has a dark past), sucking face (among other things...) and nothing else! Plagiarism anyone?

This section deserves its own rant because I don't know where to go next.

Stories like these aren't realistic. In fact, to prove it I'm going to list all the problems.

A) He won't disobey his family for you. A) He wouldn't risk the bad publicity, B) You do realize his parents could cut him off and disown him, C) This dude could have anyone in the world, he would happily dump you for a supermodel.

B) There's no way you would meet a billionaire. I doubt you're even in the same social circles. But M&M, she was at a party because (bullshit coincidence), she was doing her job (which probably includes a funny co-worker and shitty boss). I don't care, it's a stupid reason and even if she came cross your guy protagonist she wouldn't be memorable. The moment he finds out she's a peasant he's out there door!

C) You're not a special little snowflake and you're not the only lame, quirky and shy girl on this planet. One things for certain your personality and looks don't match up. Chances are if you're so beautiful you grew up with a complex and you're not shy, lame or quirky. Also, no guy is willing to put up with a girl who's always undermining herself. It's okay to think you have flaws but if your only conversational topic is your anxiety and ugliness the guy will be out the door in no time.

D)He isn't Romeo. He isn't going to show up at your door at 3am because we couldn't forgot your face. If you did manage to capture he attention though he'll send someone of a much lower tier to go fetch, because let's admit it, you're not even good enough for his butler.

-End Of Rant-

Anyway that's it for today. Don't worry this is just the first part of a series of rants about Wattpad, I'm just scratching the surface ;)

If you guys want to share anything you hate about it feel free to comment down below, I'd love to know. If I've offended then I only have one thing to say...